You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
