THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
