Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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