That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
