I think im going to throw up on grandma
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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