Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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