it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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