found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
