After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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