I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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