I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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