What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
