What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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