shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize