It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
