Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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