sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
