Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
