I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
