College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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