You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
