you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I met the friendliest cop last night
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My vagina is officially offended.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
