yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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