im drinking this country out of the recession.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
