Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
