And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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