I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
