Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
