It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
