Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize