How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
