being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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