one might say we're banned from that church
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
