There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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