i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
