Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
