it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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