just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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