she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
