tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
