If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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