What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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