At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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