We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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