im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
