i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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