yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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