who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
