I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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