fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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