nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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