we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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