I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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