She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize