i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
