Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
