Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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