well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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