dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
