I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
