yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize