I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
