this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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