Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
