i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
