my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
