See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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